The meaning of a name.

When we went to name our first child, Adam and I agreed we wanted something different. All through my life other Kellys have abounded, even though I love my name I grow tired of being Kelly K, the young Kelly, etc. At the same time we didn’t want to invent a name, or change a spelling. I read through the baby name book many times before even contemplating Arwen as a name. Many of you know that Arwen is an Elf in the Lord of the Rings (Liv Tylers character in the movies). Elves in this world are like angels on earth, very wise, yet joyful beings, and Arwen was considered the most beautiful of these.  Adam has always been a big Lord of the Rings fan, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to fly that geek flag so high. The meaning of Arwen is what sold me: noble maiden. I got this picture in my head of a wise, beautiful woman. The middle name came easy: Elizabeth was my mother’s middle name, my great-grandmother’s first name, and Adam’s grandmother’s name. All these women were a powerful presence in our lives.  It was also a great fall back name in case Arwen wasn’t such a good idea. Now that Arwen is four, she is definitely an Arwen! People who get the reference to LOTR are very excited, the name flies under the radar for those who don’t.

Naming our second was a lot different, as well as difficult. You can’t use a simple name in my opinion when your first is named Arwen. It was out of the question that we go for a second LOTR name. I will not have LOTR themed children. In addition, I really wanted an A name, to kind of ‘go’ with Arwen. Adam and I disagreed on every name that came up; either he or I did not like it, or it was too common of a name. We had a few ideas on what we liked, and hoped the 20 week ultrasound would help us decide.

Finding out our daughter had a life-threatening condition left me feeling numb. The way the baby is discussed, even when it is done empathetically, makes you feel like the baby is not real. There is this hypothetical baby with a laundry list of problems that they may or may not have, that they may or may not survive, and they may or may not have severe, life altering issues. Maybe. Or maybe not. How do you name a baby who is not real?

A few days after the life-changing news, Adam and I were walking, and we got the news that she did not have a few of the genetic problems that they had tested her for. Giddy with joy, we became decisive: Anya Mae. And we weren’t going to wait to tell people, this ‘hypothetical baby’ needed the strength of a name, an identity, to make her real to us, our family, and medical staff who would be tasked with caring for her. I posted on Facebook immediately.

Fast forward six months (Six months!! It really has been that long!) and I have been looking up the meanings of my daughters’ names. Elizabeth means ‘God is my oath’. So Arwen Elizabeth means ‘Noble maiden; God is my oath’. Anya is a Russian form of Anna or Hannah meaning ‘gracious, full of grace.’ Mae is associated with the name of the month, which is derived from the Latin Maius (the month of Maia, the Greek mythological goddess of increase). So literally, Anya Mae means ‘Full of grace, increasing.’ Amazing grace.

I never anticipated what my children would teach me. What Arwen has taught me about myself would take a whole other post. Anya is teaching me about God’s grace. From letters, notes, posts and other communication I gather she is teaching many others the same. When the name Anya Mae became a possibility on the list I knew it had religious connotations but didn’t know the specifics. We had no idea where this journey would take us. Looking up the names today for fun, it is wonderful to realize that my second daughter does not have her name because it goes with her sister’s, or it is just pretty. Anya Mae means much more.