Day 79

Adam left early this morning on a business trip, and then Val left for home this afternoon. Until Thursday it is just me and my girls. It gives me an opportunity I thought I had lost: the chance to have a couple of days with just Arwen and I out and about. For four years on my days off it has been just her and I hanging out, shopping, cleaning, playing, doing whatever. When I was getting ready to have another baby it made me sad to know those days were coming to an end.

Arwen is turning into a great big sister. She has been anxious to see Anya every day, and takes interest in what Anya is doing. Arwen worries if she is fussy, and likes to sing to her. She is comfortable with the NICU, and jokes how Anya wants to get out of there. We went shopping to get Anya a bouncy seat and we both agreed that we wanted to go back up tonight to set her up in it. We also got her a newborn projector like toy, it plays music and projects an ocean scene on the ceiling. Anya loved it and her bouncy seat as well. She is so cute!

Big sister Arwen watching over Anya




Hi there!

 

I hate to leave her now. It may seem strange but up to now, unless she wasn’t stable, I did not mind leaving her at night. I knew she was safe and I was ready for a break from the monotony, the stress of staring at a very ill child who could not interact well. Most of those walls are broken down now. I still need help to get her out of her crib but I can hold her while managing all of her wires and tubes. She is a very social baby now that she is comfortable, no longer bothered by the intubation tube or  c-pap. She is wonderfully appropriate developmentally wise, this is amazing considering how much time she was limited because of treatment. She looks for people out of her line of sight when she hears them talking, she tracks objects, she gazes at faces. She smiles.

In other words, she just seems so dang normal, I feel like I should be able to walk out with her any day. I know this is not true, her lungs need to improve and require less oxygen, and we need to start feeding. She will need some therapy for muscles; she will have some delays there.

There are fewer and fewer reasons for me to feel like the separation from her is normal. I wonder what she is doing when I am trying to go to sleep. I am just ready to get a move on. This Labor Day weekend has been laid back, no one is making any large changes. I hope to hear more of a plan tomorrow. Looking forward to the future!